Our partners
have recently left the tribe to go to Oregon to be with Renee’s Dad who has
cancer. I’m sure they would appreciate
your prayers.
Being alone
(without a partner that speaks my language) is very hard for me.
My
conversation with God looks something like this.
Me: I can’t
do this! This wasn’t the plan.
God: Not
your will but mine.
Me: But it
feels so out of control, so wrong, so unfair.
God: Out of
your control but not out of mine. I know
what is best for you.
Me: But it
doesn’t feel like the best. It feels
like death. But yet it’s not total death
since I’m clinging to my desires and won’t really let go of them. It’s
painful.
God: My yoke
is easy and my burden is light.
Me: But the
next 7 months, Lord? I can’t do it. The cloud of depression is already over my
head how am I going to survive the next 7 months.
God: I
AM. I AM enough for today and that is
all you need.
Me: And the girls, Lord? How can I fill their emotional cups and be
what they need when they don’t have their best friends here to interact
with. I can’t be mom and best friend to
them. I can barely tread water
myself. And my 5 year old constant talker. How can I possibly listen to all the words coming from her mouth
now that she hasn’t friends to talk to?
How can I help my teens not be depressed and lonely and bored? It’s too much, Lord, just can’t do it.
God: I am ENOUGH for them; Just like I’m enough
for you. I am their Father; a friend that sticks closer
than a brother.
ME: But they are so young to understand that you
can be a friend in place of a friend they can see. I am even having a hard time with that.
God. Be still and know that I am God. Trust.
Me: It’s more than I can handle.
God: But not more than you can handle in MY strength. Lean on my strength.
Me: But……
