A conversation with God

Our partners have recently left the tribe to go to Oregon to be with Renee’s Dad who has cancer.  I’m sure they would appreciate your prayers.

Being alone (without a partner that speaks my language) is very hard for me.

My conversation with God looks something like this. 

Me: I can’t do this! This wasn’t the plan.

God: Not your will but mine.

Me: But it feels so out of control, so wrong, so unfair.

God: Out of your control but not out of mine.  I know what is best for you.

Me: But it doesn’t feel like the best.  It feels like death.  But yet it’s not total death since I’m clinging to my desires and won’t really let go of them.   It’s painful. 

God: My yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Me: But the next 7 months, Lord?  I can’t do it.  The cloud of depression is already over my head how am I going to survive the next 7 months.

God: I AM.  I AM enough for today and that is all you need. 

Me:   And the girls, Lord?  How can I fill their emotional cups and be what they need when they don’t have their best friends here to interact with.  I can’t be mom and best friend to them.  I can barely tread water myself.  And my 5 year old constant talker.  How can I possibly  listen to all the words coming from her mouth now that she hasn’t friends to talk to?   How can I help my teens not be depressed and lonely and bored?  It’s too much, Lord, just can’t do it. 

God:  I am ENOUGH for them; Just like I’m enough for you.   I am their Father; a friend that sticks closer than a brother.

ME:  But they are so young to understand that you can be a friend in place of a friend they can see.  I am even having a hard time with that.

God.  Be still and know that I am God.   Trust.

Me:  It’s more than I can handle.

God:  But not more than you can handle in MY strength.  Lean on my strength.

Me: But……